


Matters of Art and Science

by molegria



Category: Frozen (2013)
Genre: F/M, Kristanna Smut Week, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, NSFW, Porn, Post-Canon, Post-Frozen (2013), Smut, canonverse, kristanna smut weekend 2018, show me yours I'll show you mine, vintage erotica
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-16 03:18:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13627482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/molegria/pseuds/molegria
Summary: "I have pressing concerns," Anna whispers, looking down. "About sizes."(Written for Day 2 of the Kristanna Smut Weekend 2018, prompt: "Show me")





	Matters of Art and Science

**Author's Note:**

> Frozen belongs to Disney, the Internet is for porn.

 

 

 

"I need your help," Anna announces, and by this point in their relationship Kristoff knows it means he's doomed. He puts aside his lute and sits up on the hay, accepting his fate.

  


"I hope this 'help' doesn't involve any strenuous activity," he mumbles. After a draining day at work, a nice meal and a warm bath, he'd decided to go to bed earlier. Well, "bed" was actually a stall at the stables — he'd yet to grow used to the comfort of the castle's beds. But sleep had eluded him (unlike Sven, who snores soundly beside him), and so he'd picked up his lute to distract himself. Until Anna showed up carrying a lantern, a tin box and acting very suspiciously.

  


"It won't. I mean, unless we—I mean—it won't," she whispers, stumbling on her words. "It's a scientific inquiry, in fact." She hangs the lantern on a hook on the wall and gathers her skirts to sit beside him on the heap of hay.

  


"Scientific?" He raises an eyebrow. "Is this about ice harvesting? Because if it's not, I don't think I'll be able to help much."

  


"I'm absolutely confident you can." She rests her hands over the rectangular box on her lap. "Remember when I told you Elsa and I were going through our parents' things in the attic?"

  


"And that you were afraid Elsa would have an emotional breakdown and freeze half of Europe?" Kristoff lets out a small chuckle. "I'm guessing it went well."

  


Anna rolls her eyes. "For the most part, yes. But," she lowers her voice in a conspiratorial tone, grabbing the sides of the tin box. "I found something. And I don't think anyone was ever supposed to find this. I don't need to ask you to keep this under the most absolute secrecy, do I?"

  


Kristoff takes a deep breath. Anna has shared secrets with him before - mostly her personal thoughts, the struggles of her relationship with her sister, moments of self-doubt. But this sounds like a matter of national security. "Anna, of course I won't tell anyone, but... are you sure I should know? Are these, like, classified papers?"

  


Anna sighs. "It's... it's better if you see for yourself." She pries the lid off the box, takes out what looks like a pile of postcards and hands them to Kristoff.

 

He flips through them under the lantern light. These are not postcards, but litographs. The first on the pile shows a man and a woman next to a four-poster bed. The man is embracing the woman from behind; she has her skirts held up to her waist, and wears nothing under them. The second one has a different couple kissing on a chaise longue — the woman is again shown naked from the waist down, except here the man has his hand between her legs. The rest of the litographs are increasingly more pornographic.

 

Kristoff whistles at one particular group scene. "Looks like your folks were kinky." Anna shoots him a look. "Nothing wrong with that," he cleans his throat.

 

"I know there's nothing wrong with that," Anna grumbles, taking the pictures from his hands and squaring them up against the top of her thighs.

 

"Is this what you need help with?" He checks to make sure Sven is still asleep. "Do you want me to hide them, or...?"

 

She ignores his question, leafing through the stack of cards, then picking one from the middle of the pile and handing it back to Kristoff. The image is titled "The Chase", and it shows a dishevelled, possibly drunk gentleman in a pathetic attempt at running after a terrified half-naked girl. His trousers are down to his knees, his humongous phallus standing out like a red baton.

 

"I have pressing concerns," Anna whispers, looking down. "About sizes."

 

Kristoff has to bite his lip not to laugh. The poor girl is clearly uncomfortable enough as it is. "Don't worry," he lets out, unable to avoid a humorous tone. "Seriously, don't. It's  _not_  like this. It's definitely not like this. That's just a cartoon."

 

Anna rolls her eyes again. "I  _know_  that's a cartoon," she mumbles. "I mean, a thing  _that_  big wouldn't be biologically feasible. For starters, it wouldn't fit in your clothes." From the corner of her eyes, she looks down at the front of his pants. "Still, it made me realize I have no proper knowledge of what to expect. With regards to, to that."

 

They are alone (Sven doesn't count) in a stable stall in the middle of the night, a stack of porn on her lap, and Anna is asking him about penis sizes. Kristoff doesn't know if he should laugh or cry. "Uh," he shrugs, pouts, moves his head from side to side, "it's... about this size?" He shows a measure in the air with both hands, then closes one of them in a "O" shape for the girth. "I mean, I can't really speak for other men, only for myself."

 

"Well, that's the one that matters, right," Anna laughs, then her smile falters and she looks away, biting her lip. God, she looks so cute when she does that.

 

"So," Kristoff leans back on the hay, resting on his elbows. "Any other pressing concerns?"

 

Anna runs her eyes over his body, tapping the edge of "The Chase" against her mouth. "Can you show me?"

 

" _What_ ," he splutters.

 

Sven lets out a grunt. Kristoff and Anna look, paralyzed, as the reindeer turns its large head away from them and resumes sleeping. Both humans breathe out.

 

"Be quiet," Anna whispers almost inaudibly, holding the tin box closer against her lower belly. "No one knows I'm here, and I'd like to keep it that way."

 

"Don't ask preposterous things, then," he hisses back, sitting up and crossing his arms.

 

"'Preposterous'! You don't even know what that means," she snorts.

 

"I know what it means. It means absurd, illogical, crazy, as in 'my girlfriend asked me to flash her'."

 

"What's crazy about that? 'Crazy' would be me asking a random man to show me his genitals. I'm asking my future husband. Do you want me to ask a random man?"

 

" _No_. Of course not."

 

"Well, then!" She sits closer to him and gestures towards his crotch. He covers it with his hands.

 

"That's—that's not how it works," he mumbles. Anna sighs impatiently. "It's not... it's not presentable right now."

 

She lies down on her belly beside him, resting her chin on her palm. "Are you scared I might change my mind about marrying you if I see it?", she teases. "Better prepare me now than traumatize me on our wedding night."

 

Kristoff rolls his eyes. "It's not that. Well, there  _is_  that, too, but..." He sighs. "It's in its resting state. It's not standing up like the ones in the pictures."

 

"I haven't seen resting ones, either. It's all new to me," she counters.

 

"Yeah, but it's boring when it's resting. It's like a floppy sausage or something."

 

She giggles, rising her eyebrows. "And how does that floppy sausage become a crunchy carrot?"

 

He laughs, then checks on Sven again. He's about to make a bold proposition, and the last thing he needs is a meddling reindeer. "You could show me yours, for example."

 

He thought that would have sent her away huffing about his impropriety, and then he'd laugh about her double standards and call it a night. Nothing could have prepared him to what she actually decides to do.

 

Still lying on the hay, she turns on her back, fumbles under her skirts for a brief moment, then pulls her drawers down to her ankles and her skirts up to her chest.

 

Kristoff stares, wide-eyed and slack-mouthed, at the triangle of auburn curls that stands out against her white skin, on the vortex of the Y formed by the skin fold at the top of her thighs and the gap between her legs.

 

"So?" Her hesitant voice brings him back to the world.

 

"Hm?", he mumbles, blinking, and looks back at her face. She's biting her lower lip again, eyebrows slightly creased.

 

"Is it working?"

 

He's looking at her naked hips again, mind blank, then remembers there was a point in this. " _Oh._ " Kristoff looks down at himself; it's working just fine. "Yeah, it's..." He lifts up his hand towards her thighs, stopping mid-air. "May I? Just..."

 

She pulls her skirts further up to hide her giggle behind the hem, and nods.

 

Kristoff runs his fingers on her thigh, slowly approaching the curly bush in the middle. As he reaches the edge of her pubes, she takes a deep breath and opens her legs a little, inviting him to explore further.

 

He looks up at her expectant face. "Like that second card?", he whispers, sliding closer to her. She nods and pulls his face down into a kiss as his fingers slide into her bush and move forward.

 

He runs his middle finger on the smooth ridge in the middle of her folds, pressing his index and ring fingers on the chubby flesh on the sides. Anna inhales deeply; he swallows her soft moans as he finds a tiny hardened nub. Rubbing small circles and pressing down on that point makes her jump and wiggle her hips, and her hand at his nape grabs his hair more forcefully. He hopes he's doing this right.

 

She lets go of his hair and runs her hand down his bicep, coaching him to go on. Kristoff resumes his journey down her body, discovering the slit that is the source of her wetness. He breaks their kiss and dips his middle finger up to the first knuckle, watching as her lips spread into a wide grin.

 

"Like it?" She nods, smoothing down her skirts over her chest and glancing down with an inquisitive look. Kristoff slides the rest of his finger inside, noticing how she clenches her muscles and sighs.

 

"Unfair," she breathes.

 

"What's unfair?", he whispers against her lips, his finger assessing the texture of her inner walls.

 

"I came here to see you," she says, holding onto his forearm. "So far I've..." Kristoff curls his finger up, finding a ribbed area, and it makes her stop talking immediately and throw her head back against the hay. "You're  _in me_ ," she moans in protest, "and you still haven't shown me."

 

"If I show it to you," he says, his finger retreating back to the little nub outside her, "will you just look, or will you touch it too?"

 

She laughs against his lips. "Most definitely touch it."

 

Satisfied, he gives her pussy one last pat then lies on his back, untying his trousers and pulling them down to the middle of his thighs. His engorged penis springs out over his pants' waist and rests on his lower belly in all its heavy glory.

 

Anna licks her lips, clearly impressed. "That's quite big," she mutters, laying a tentative hand on his hip.

 

"Are you going to run away like the girl in the picture?", he laughs, pushing it towards her hand. She answers that by propping herself up on one elbow, kissing his lips and closing her hand on a fist around him.

 

Kristoff sighs, placing his hand around hers to guide her movements. When it's just him pleasuring himself, he would usually go straight to the point and rub himself really fast, focused strictly on reaching climax. Right now, however, he's keen on letting Anna take her time. Caressing her wrist, he directs her fingers along the vein that runs on the underside, then shows her how he likes to be touched around the tip. He lets her cup his balls in her hand, and even allows her to run an investigative finger down his crack, which comes as a pleasurable surprise — he usually doesn't touch himself that far.

 

"Is this good?" She asks with genuine curiosity when he sucks air between his teeth.

 

He lets out a laugh, careful not to become too loud. "Let's save that for the wedding night, shall we?" He brings her hand to his face and licks her palm, then directs her back to his length and closes his hand around hers, sliding up and down at a faster pace.

 

She slots her body against his side, her bush touching his hip. "You like fast?", she whispers against his ear.

 

He holds down her hand for a second and pull his shirt up, exposing his whole torso. "Fair warning," he manages to say, panting, "this gets messy."

 

"I know," she says huskily. "I've seen the pictures."

 

"Yeah?" Kristoff's voice comes out strangled. He pushes his feet down on the hay and lifts his hips up against Anna's hand, his whole body like a taut cord ready to snap.

 

"All of them," Anna whispers on his ear again, and the warmth of her breath against his sweaty skin pushes him over the edge. He comes in white spurts over his chest, covering Anna's hand. She lets out a little squeal, taken aback, but then starts to laugh against his shoulder.

 

"Sorry," he says, laughing as well between labored breaths.

 

"You warned me." She plants a little kiss on his cheek, then brings the hand coated in his come closer to her face, inspecting the stickiness of the warm liquid. Tentatively, she touches it with the tip of her tongue. "For science," she explains, noticing his inquisitive look.

 

He rolls on his side and runs a hand over her thigh, grabbing her butt. "I think you mean 'for art'," he says, pushing her on her back to finish what he'd started.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Day 2 of the Kristanna Smut Weekend 2018 is technically over (it's 00h06 as I write this), but this idea hit me around eight PM and it just had to be done. I'm probably not even going to proof-read it, so.
> 
> I took ideas for the erotic litographs from here: http://www.eroti-cart.com/erotic-lithography-c-53_55 (NSFW drawings, of course)


End file.
